After the operation to remove a benign polyp from my nose, the diopsy report showed a possibility of malignant melanoma.
Me, my wife and two children (21 and 11) sat down in Starbucks where I told them the news. We held hands and looked at each other. My son read the diopsy report, as my voice broke reading the word 'tumor'. We agreed to live in the now, day by day, and stay positive. We smiled, hugged and went on our ways as planned. My wife, son and daughter for lunch and to aikido lesson, my son would have his friend over that night, and we decided to continue with that plan too, as if nothing had changed.
I remembered how we had dealt with the riots in Jakarta in 1999, the Tsunami while we were on the beach in Thailand in 2004, and the Fukushima earthquake and subsequent nuclear fall-out while we lived in Tokyo in 2011. Live day by day, stay well informed, make gut-feel decisions when information is not available and adjust quickly when information becomes reliable. Stay strong under any circumstance, lead by example.
I decided to immediately inform my close family and friends before the diagnosis was confirmed. This provided time to explain any related circumstances and update on how the operation had gone.
Their response was so comforting and the expressed love was such a support in the early moments of doubt and uncertainty. This prevented me from withdrawing into myself and deal with this in isolation. I love solitude, but decided this was not the time for that.
Minimising the sorrow of my loved ones was more of a concern to me than anything else.
This also gave me the push and mental strength to decide to stay positive, smile and deal with it.
That visible leadership helped us through the early moments and decide on the right path to handle the situation and remain happy.
2 comments:
Hello Cor, I believe it is essential to communicate, especially around difficult topics like cancer. Here's another example that demonstrate communication around malignant melanomas. http://www.melanomauk.org.uk/jons_story/. Faith and patience, that 's what I wish to you and your family.
Thank you Arjan. The loved ones you tell will be. burdened with sorrow and worry. Sharing information helps in minimizing unnecessary worry. Providing an opportunity to ask questions is already helping equalizing the picture in their and your own mind. Faith and patience, I will grow those into effective defense mechanisms to overcome whatever is put on my path. Thanks again for your feedback. Cor
Post a Comment