My relationship with my wife and children is changing. Because I know I have to change into a person, who is always grateful for having been supported so well, so careful, so heartwarming. My son stands up to take his place in the family, to represent me when I am not able, to support my wife mentally and with the chores. Now my daughter starts doing to same with such a quiet brother doing the things he has decided to be his contribution to our team.
A new mindset. That mindset started in January 2017, upon hearing the diagnose that I had a very rate type of cancer. We decided to get on with life, confuse our appointments, not pretend nothing was wrong, but continue with normal,life. Prevent it from becoming a trauma, in the same manner as we had dealt with the aftermath of the Tsunami on the beach of Koh Lanta in 2004: stay and help with the clean-up, while seeing the waters reside, run back into the ocean, fishing dead fish from small ponds, clearing the mud from our chalet, where the rising water had just covered the floor. The designer must have had instructions from Heaven to pick the exact right stilt height to keep us safe, until we decided to evacuate to the hills.
That’s how circles come round, and good decisions can become a life skill for your children. The day of the Tsunami made us realize that having one son was not enough. We decided then and there to have a second baby… Marika was born 10 months later on 25 October 2015…
Coming to terms with anger, acceptance:
- My radiologist is a great technician, but emotionally has to stay completely detached from his patients feelings. This view about him has endeared me to the tough job of making radiation decisions, irrespective of what the patient will have to endure. The same is the case for the dermatologist, chemo oncologist, and other treating oncologists. Cancer is lethal until its under control…
- Coming to terms with the role everyone plays, also makes you control your anger why this has to happen to you, that nausea is not a result of one of the treating doctors not willing to alleviate it with medicines.
- They will!, once the cancer cells have been hit hard enough and are dying. That is the point where side effects can start to be treated with the available medicines.
- The period before that point it’s sure chemo has done it’s job, one has choice than to endure it, with ones extended life as a reward. It may not feel worth it, during the deepest phase of darkness and mystery, but it will in the end when relief sets in.
