Darkness

Where will I go,
when life comes to an end
Who will hold my hand,
when my last breath escapes

Suddenly I feel lonely,
why I ask this is not clear
Suddenly I feel unsure,
about my peace of mind

Everywhere is hope,
I feel comfort and am secure
Everywhere I find love,
then why do I dread the last door

Deep inside I doubt,
realizing that I am so mortal
Deep inside it’s dark,
the slope of recovery so slippery

Being strong is not given,
strength eludes me and fades away
Being a father brings tears,
my frail health a source of sorrow

Let me be carried
and nourished by all the love
Let me stop thinking
and enjoy what I have.

(Tokyo, 11 May 2018)

Love living!

The 19th Opdivo infusion was very tiring. The day after (today) even more so. The body is fighting to shrink the tumours and repair the bones. The blood test yesterday was perfect. (saiketsu = draw blood) Blood pressure (ketsuatsu) is also perfect.

Its going to be a long 1.5 years of treatment as per the oncologist forecast. But hey, Its May and I will become 58! So, if everything goes to plan, I will be clean just before the Olympics in 2020. Great!

I will go for a swim later and a massage to get my neck and back loosened up. Giving myself treats like that makes it all worth it and relaxes the mind. Tomorrow I will go back to work as usual and enjoy my new mission of planning the long term strategy for our systems business!

Below a shot of Mount Fuji, taken when we returned from Izu. I love living in Japan!