Today we visited Dr Zenda, who is my radiologist. He has a very different character than dr Namikawa, who is more reserved, and usually gives us a lot of information from different angles until we deeply understand. The same is the case this time, and he gave us a clear picture of where we stand.
Dr Zenda’s answer: the nose and sinus area is under control. Aspiration pneumonitis is a candidate for the spots in the right lung. These usually fade after 1-2 weeks. Another CT scan is required after 3 months to confirm the real origin of the spots. The chance is 50/50 that it’s a new tumor. Problems after proton beaming occur usually within 6 months. Stable treatment is assumed after 1-2 yrs like in my case.
So my confidence is restored, and serene calmness has returned. I am aware that such events increase my self confidence, as the next time I will remember and will be less worried. Trust and hope are intertwined, and lead to confidence that all will be fine in the end.
Time for a beer and a holiday!
Thursday, April 25, 2019
New findings in the lung
After 16 months of stable progress, I was somehow made to believe that I was recovering well. It’s not easy to receive a report that new metastasis have been found in the lung. I was completely taken by surprise and it took several hours to completely sink in.
My mind still can’t come to terms with the impact this news has on me, my life, my work, my happiness, and so on. There is something growing in my lung, and when it continues, I will have to breathe pure oxygen soon.
I want to ignore it, but I am tired. Tired from fighting, always being flexible, resilient and ready for bad news. I don’t want to be a burden to my family and friends anymore. It’s must be very hard to continue hearing such news from me. How can I make it easier on you all?
There is only hope in healing and trust in our Lord. If medication is not longer working, then there is no hope of recovery. The only way to deal with cancer is then to accept, and make the best of what is possible every day. It’s what I have decided to do, and not allow depressing thoughts get a grip and dim my happiness. Enjoy the small moments, everyday!
My mind still can’t come to terms with the impact this news has on me, my life, my work, my happiness, and so on. There is something growing in my lung, and when it continues, I will have to breathe pure oxygen soon.
I want to ignore it, but I am tired. Tired from fighting, always being flexible, resilient and ready for bad news. I don’t want to be a burden to my family and friends anymore. It’s must be very hard to continue hearing such news from me. How can I make it easier on you all?
There is only hope in healing and trust in our Lord. If medication is not longer working, then there is no hope of recovery. The only way to deal with cancer is then to accept, and make the best of what is possible every day. It’s what I have decided to do, and not allow depressing thoughts get a grip and dim my happiness. Enjoy the small moments, everyday!
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