Returning from Singapore, the body is reacting to tense meetings and long hours sitting and standing. Headaches come and go. Its hard to time painkillers welll, they take up to 2 hours to kick in when the pain is bad. My eye sight has deteriorated and having cross-eyed sight again is scary after 5 months. I hope its not a warning for worse things to come.
My family is with me now in Japan and that gives tremendous peace of mind. I don't need to manage my life anymore while needing rest more than anything else. Moving from Singapore has ended, waiting for the boxes in a few weeks. My son and wife will get the house ready with cabinets and beds. A big sigh of relief.
I hear that my father's health is deteriorating. I decided today not to hope to see him again if he goes soon. I simply can't travel that far to Holland. It's hard but also relieves me of another hidden stress. My son accepted to be my stand-in. Emotions ......
3 days to go for PET scan and definitive advice on medication if the cancer has spread. Opdivo has a success rate of 30%. If I need to start on that chemo, which I really dread,, I will fight, fight for who I hold dear. If it hasn't spread, I wonder what can be done to contain it forever and reduce the pain.
