Hope and fate

Immunotherapy, for three years my friend
It cleaned me, assured me, gave me hope
Hope is high that all will be fine, in the end
But this last hiding place is beyond its scope

From treatment till the end is like a wide lake
It’s my life time, not like a long piece of rope
Nausea, no medicine, thoughts as I’m awake
Those three undermine, and reduce my hope

Chemotherapy, the dreaded inclusion a must
Mixing treatments makes symptoms unclear
Side effects will be hard to trace, judge, trust
They add to my anxiety and feed a deep fear

Nausea and medicine is for others to conclude
I list my symptoms while I patiently wait, ‘n wait
The thoughts while I’m awake, in quiet solitude,
From treatment till the end, they’r my life, my fate

Oh my

My mind wants to walk
My eye is dry
My eyelid doesn’t move
My stomach burns
My taste is gone
My hair is white ‘n thin
My brain is off
My digestion is off
My muscles ache
My neck is stiff
My cheek flaps
My eyebrow itches
My wrinkles are gone
My smile is half
My tears flow
My skin peels again
My mind plays games
My thoughts repeat

…

My heart beats