Radiation effects

The last proton beaming treatment was on 13 April. The radiation had its immediate effects on the skin which took 6 weeks to heal. Now the internal hardness is gone in nose and sinus but the heavy head sensation is getting worse. It's not a stiff neck I thought at first.
The first pain attack happened during a business trip 2 weeks ago, and I recovered after a long antibiotics treatment. Now the pain attacks are back, and the only way is to take painkillers.

• Swelling behind eyes and painful drainage in left eyebrow. 
• When leaning over or coming up fast there is a lack of blood in the head and I am dizzy for 10 seconds. 
• Waking up at 3am with sharp pain behind the eye. 

I do yoga 3-4 times a week to keep neck and back flexible an maintain core strength, but still can't do any position with head below the heart.
It's bearable but it will be difficult to identify after starting Opdivo, if this or other pain is a result of radiation or new immunotherapy. I just need to take enough rest and let the body get used to the new medicin to minimize side effects.

Strontium-89 therapy, Opdivo

Today I am in Tsukiji NCC for pre-check-up for the strontium-89 therapy. I received an injection with Strontium to see where it is absorbed.
Next I had skeleton scintigraphy, using a CT Scanner, which is a special type of nuclear medical procedure that uses small amounts of radioactive material to diagnose and assess the severity of a variety of diseases, including cancer.
3 months after this therapy, Tumor to non-Tumor ratios (T/NT) are calculated, as well as changes in B-AKP compared. This therapy is not a cure, but it reduces the damage of bone cancer. Afterwards immunotherapy is required to trigger natural immunity to further eradicate the cancer.

Based on a research article (2004) on effect of strontium-89 therapy, bone lesions (damage) decreased by approx 50%. However, the doctor explained that this treatment is primarily to reduce pain, not for tumor treatment. He also explained that the side effects could be very severe and long lasting: loss of white and red blood cells. Those are the cells I need most when kickstarting my immune system!

So it was decided by Namikawa-sensei to start with Nevolumab (Opdivo). So next week Monday 21 Aug I will get the first injection, and will go home afterwards. MmI don't want to stay in hospital as the side effects are not severe. Better stay at home and relax, walk a bit outside, instead of tethered to a bed, and listen to other people who have cancer and try to be quiet.

This time it's for real, no other treatment options anymore. Just get on with life, stay in shape and enjoy daily activities. I will let the body fight if after 3 months results are not as expected.

Coming to terms with cancer

Learning to live with cancer and describing the feelings I have, is how I come to terms with cancer. The shock of the realisation that life will soon come to an end has to be dealt with, one way or another. Without emotions how can I give it a place in my life?

I cannot always switch off my emotions. They have a purpose, they are a tool to handle a situation which cannot be comprehended the moment it occurs. As is the case with any human (I guess), I need time to find reason, to find purpose, to give it a place in context of all other learnings in the past and insights or information freshly obtained.

Emotions can disrupt the balance of life of loved ones around me when dealing with the same realisation that life of a loved one (me that is) may suddenly come to an end. It is therefore important to shield loved ones from excessive emotional outbursts and handle that within oneself. This is not an easy task and I prefer to do this through calm thinking in solitude.

Finding the meaning of the effect that cancer has, in all aspects of life, is key to permanent recovery. Balance must be restored and retained between mind, spirit and body. It's important to create benchmarks for stamina before and after key treatments. Every time a treatment is coming to a stable stage, it's important to measure the gap with the state before the treatment.

Cancer attacks the body. My mind is subject to imbalances due to medication, radiation or other chemical reactions like diet. My spirit can remain healthy, but it requires great and continuous mental effort. As long as my spirit is healthy, positive and strong, it provides the motivation to close this gap in stamina and provide this as the short term target for the mind and body. Such goals are important to restore my health completely.

There are many moments that my spirit feels weak. Its important to gain access to, or create sources of motivation. Motivation comes from love. It's that simple. I don't lock others out and continue to communicate, smile and try to stay positive. It's hard at times, I know, but it helps all around me to feel they can help me in their own way. Help or support to my loved ones is a great indirect way of helping me. My son needs a listening ear, or just a warm meal. My wife needs words of encouragement.

To reduce stress of work or livelihood this includes talking to superiors, and Human resource managers. To reduce stress at work, decide who to inform and who not. There is no need to inform all. To learn how you think, and how you deal with situations, write it down in a blog. It provides a record to review later. To reduce stress of loved ones, use the blog to update them. They can also use it as a reference when in doubt.