I enjoy the last few weeks in Singapore, going for walks, reading in the shade on the balcony. Have a glass of wine with Dutch cheese, watch a game of soccer in the hollow night when sleep doesn't come. Go for a massage undoing all knots, both physical and mental. Communicate with all loved ones and share my tangled emotions with my loving wife at 5am until they unravel and the emotional knots come undone.
My ship of life appears to have come in calm waters, shielded from stormy weather by His ring of reefs, like the American cup trials where super yachts lifted by foils zip around on mirror-like waters in Bermuda. I watched the cup defenders train in the early 80s in the very same spot, arriving from New-York after days of stormy weather.
My Captain has handed me many new sets of sails and a steady hand in the voyage of life. While next generations get on the water and practice, it's time to accept a new role and become one with the ring of reefs. To enjoy the honor of shielding those spotless white sails from tricky winds and keep their gleaming hulls away from the blunt energy of blue water waves.
Let them zip along on mesmerizing foils, at speeds far exceeding that of the wind. Callous skin grows where blisters pop, breaking backs straighten and stiffen. Let them taste the salt, feeling the wind in their hair, singing songs in their ears, sensing the sting on their skin. Laugh with them feeling a deep sense of pride.
Sunday, June 04, 2017
Change becomes constant
On 21st August I will undergo a full scan of my body. In the run-up there are quite a few things going on.
My health has recovered from a terrible cold which I caught during my first business trip after treatment. After 2 weeks without medicines, struggling stubbornly, I was 'coincidentally' called by my surgeon for a checkup. He said he missed me, and so I went. Upon entering the treatment room, we embraced and greeted like old friends. He checked my nose and found it to be perfectly in order. He asked about the radiation treatment and found I had a swollen lymph node in my neck. It could be because of the cold so he prescribed antibiotics which I took like a lamb. He prayed for me and said how wonderful and trusting patient I had been. It had made is work so easy. Others showed glaring mistrust with family members interrogating him every step along the way, suing him for millions when things go wrong.
I took a day off to recover from dizziness and a swollen cheek.
Stupid to be so stubborn in searching the new limits of my health. But, as I written to my siblings, I had reached a point where I had to decide (at least I thought I had that choice) between taking it easy and go with the flow, OR push the limits, start new activities and give myself tangible proof that I was healthy. So I found out it was not a choice, I had to go with the flow but not be scared to try new things and enjoy life and eat it's sweet and sour fruits.
At work I am preparing for a make or break presentation and workshop in Bahrain about Agile Project Execution. This is the transformation in engineering, which started about 2.5 years ago. The result will be presented in a Global Sales meeting in mid August in order to get support from all sales managers, followed by their sales staff and when they sell the concept, all engineers. It's quite a mental pressure so I delegate.
Moving house in two steps is a test of how I can let go of it, and leave it to my wife and son to manage. I will have a quiet time in Tokyo while they handle all the logistics. The thing I can do is to make sure the housing is decided early, so that will not keep on haunting me at night. An example how crazy my mind works is that I worry about where I can do my laundry while camping out in an empty house. I found a coin laundry down the road. My wife will order rudimentary furniture and futon on-line, to be delivered on the day after my arrival. Let it go.
While this is going on, I need to keep my mind from falling into the trap of thinking too much about the MRI result last month where suspicious activities were found. This dark cloud in an otherwise rather clear sky can easily grow into a huge cumulonimbus. Live in the now.
My health has recovered from a terrible cold which I caught during my first business trip after treatment. After 2 weeks without medicines, struggling stubbornly, I was 'coincidentally' called by my surgeon for a checkup. He said he missed me, and so I went. Upon entering the treatment room, we embraced and greeted like old friends. He checked my nose and found it to be perfectly in order. He asked about the radiation treatment and found I had a swollen lymph node in my neck. It could be because of the cold so he prescribed antibiotics which I took like a lamb. He prayed for me and said how wonderful and trusting patient I had been. It had made is work so easy. Others showed glaring mistrust with family members interrogating him every step along the way, suing him for millions when things go wrong.
I took a day off to recover from dizziness and a swollen cheek.
Stupid to be so stubborn in searching the new limits of my health. But, as I written to my siblings, I had reached a point where I had to decide (at least I thought I had that choice) between taking it easy and go with the flow, OR push the limits, start new activities and give myself tangible proof that I was healthy. So I found out it was not a choice, I had to go with the flow but not be scared to try new things and enjoy life and eat it's sweet and sour fruits.
At work I am preparing for a make or break presentation and workshop in Bahrain about Agile Project Execution. This is the transformation in engineering, which started about 2.5 years ago. The result will be presented in a Global Sales meeting in mid August in order to get support from all sales managers, followed by their sales staff and when they sell the concept, all engineers. It's quite a mental pressure so I delegate.
Moving house in two steps is a test of how I can let go of it, and leave it to my wife and son to manage. I will have a quiet time in Tokyo while they handle all the logistics. The thing I can do is to make sure the housing is decided early, so that will not keep on haunting me at night. An example how crazy my mind works is that I worry about where I can do my laundry while camping out in an empty house. I found a coin laundry down the road. My wife will order rudimentary furniture and futon on-line, to be delivered on the day after my arrival. Let it go.
While this is going on, I need to keep my mind from falling into the trap of thinking too much about the MRI result last month where suspicious activities were found. This dark cloud in an otherwise rather clear sky can easily grow into a huge cumulonimbus. Live in the now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)