The scan yesterday appeared to be clean. There is always a chance that something small went unnoticed. The detailed report should uncover that but it always includes statements which are conservative. The report will never say: ‘You are clean! congratulations!’ Better stick to the happy expression on the face of my oncologist.
Hope for complete recovery drives me to stay motivated and handle inevitable setbacks. Every 3 months a scan is made and many patients get anxious. I have come to accept the blips caused by metastasis. I have to admit, it’s been a while that a new one appeared, even the false alarm in my lungs.
Acceptance, patience, expectations, confidence, desire to recover fully. All are supported and fired by hope. Depression caused by constant pain undermines hope. It clouds or narrows the mind and stops you from undertaking new things. All these feelings and emotions are not easy to manage. With a still mind, trained by breathing and meditation, one can take a step back though.
Taking a step back is required to realize the tricks the mind plays. How to handle the situations is what can be influenced, not the sickness itself. As I wrote earlier, doing the right things will provide peace of mind that you are doing everything possible to get healthy. It’s important to make constructive decisions how to handle news, and not fall back in old trusted patterns.
