Mental health during recovery

After my brother returned home, I felt myself having moved from recovery from the operation (backward looking) into a phase where I had to overcome some side effects before getting on with normal life (forward looking). That transition felt great and I want to thank him for that.

Reflecting on this I realized that my approach was similar as Jelmer. I had never never accepted that this would be the end of my life. I always planned ahead and made sure the treatment plans provided for a way out, a cure. This had kept my spirits high.

Pushing the limits also brings doubt if I should rest more, or move around more. I encountered double vision and noise in my right ear, so I asked the surgeon for advice. He immediately asked to come down to the clinic where he checked my left eye. He was worried about paralysis or effect of a remaining tumor.
He said all was normal with the eye, and cleaned my sinuses and nose. Scabs were removed, and breathing improved. My eyesight returned to normal after a few hours as the pressure from the upper sinus was removed but the next morning double vision was back as before.

The surgeon stressed the need to continue moving around, visit the physio to regain full movement of the neck and spray the nose every hour to keep it moist. This confirmed my gut-feel to keep pushing the limits while closely listening to my body.

Recovery from this drastic cleaning operation is different from the polyp removal operation. Mentally it's easy to doubt your gut-feel as so much has been done inside while removing the tumor.
Confidence in your body is easily lost. For example loosing sensation in nose, cheek, lip and gums because the nerves were cut is a shocking experience. Slowly the body heals itself.

I learned an important lesson to trust and listen to your body. Feed your body healthy food, rest enough and keep pushing the limits to return to normal life as soon as possible. This is what prevents depression and doom-scenario thinking.
I never give up hope that I will be cured. It's inevitable. It's His plan for me.